Or How to Work Together Canoeing
Last month we took our family vacation. We own two canoes and my parents own two kayaks and a canoe.
Kayaking is reaching an all time high in popularity. It may only be a symptom of our culture rather than a resurgence of bygone culture.
First of all, if you own a kayak, I'm not saying you need to sell it, because you're out of God's will. You may want to get that canoe though. That's me in the kayak. It's much less work to canoe, than kayak, so I've only made one more kayak trip after this picture was taken.
Kayaking and canoeing are great activities, and you can see some incredible things while you're on the water, like the enormous otter that my brother and I saw one morning. Canoes and kayaks have some fundamental differences, that show us how a marriage should or shouldn't work.
Kayaking is typically a solo endeavor. I know that they now have 2 and 3 person kayaks, but primarily they are a solo adventure. The reverse is also true, I have a solo canoe and they make many of them as well, but primarily canoeing is a two person effort.
Now that all the assumptions are out of the way. Let's take a look at marriage:
Marriage is two people committing to each other for life. They become one in God's eyes. They strive together, work together, play together. They need to rely on each other and help each other. In the Biblical model, the wife submits to the husband, and he is the head of the couple.
In canoeing, the team must work together. The husband (who is usually heavier than his wife) sits at the back of the canoe and steers, the wife (who is usually lighter) sits at the front to provide forward motion and also to help with navigation. Guys, we just have to fess up that we can be blind to lots of things. The husband has the control of where the couple (canoe) is to go, but the wife has to help get the canoe there. If they both work together, they can reach their destination.
Instead of a canoe, our couple has kayaks: He decides where they are going, but she can go in the opposite direction, because they have their own boats. They didn't become one. They might paddle side by side for a while, but this is difficult. One kayaker will soon end up in front, they will drift apart, or bump into each other, because they are paddling on their own instead of together.
One important part of marriage is helping each other: while kayaking, if you get tired out, the other cannot help easily, but if you are canoeing, then one can take a short break as a rest and progress is still made towards reaching your destination. Canoes can go farther than kayaks, because two people paddle together, instead of independently.
After marriage comes the kids. Where do we put kids in the kayak? In a canoe, the kids are safe and secure, right between their parents. They are part of the family unit. They are in the care of their parents, and they are not in charge of their world (if they had a kayak, none of that would be true). With the children in the middle of the canoe, they are secure inside the boundaries. If they go to far to one side, they can learn the consequences, getting wet isn't a big deal; it's just an easy lesson to learn without permanent consequences (if you are wearing a life jacket).
So next time you're on the lake, think about the lessons from the back seat (or the front seat) of the canoe, wear your life jacket and have a great time with your family.
